Vital Self-Esteem

I just watched a local talkshow that touches on the different social & personal issues youngsters face nowadays. Every week, the host along the two other counsellors will interview one troubled youngster. The recent episode that I watched - this lad who was previously extremely obese that shot up to 148kg. He was mercilessly made fun of by his classmates during his school days. As result, his self-esteem suffered a real low & he became anti-social, keeping to himself & didn't have the courage to make new friends, especially of the opposite sex. He further gorged himself with food, since he thought that he was already fat, he might as well eat more & didn't bother. Uptil a point where he finally decided to lose weight. He took on very extreme measures to achieve his goal - he basically starved himself till his stomach suffered severe gastric pains. He became aneroxic. His weight dropped drastically within a short period of time. In between, he became suicidal & tried to cut himself on several occasions. His mum, worried for him, hid all the knives inside the fridge. However, later on with the aid of psychiatric treatment & taking his medicine regularly, his condition improved tremendously. However still, having lost so much weight, he's still not very satisfied, he wants to lose more. This, the counsellors said this is also a psychological problem. They then asked him if he's a perfectionist, he replied yes. He further shared that now he's still in the healing process, constantly need to renew his mind. He find that he can accept himself more now.

This reminds me of a friend . She had a similiar experience. She was somewhat being critisized for being chubby & plump by her relatives when she was in her teens, that she couldn't take it any longer & she forced herself & plucked up the courage to exercise & diet to lose weight. I must say she was quite extreme as well. She jogged intensively almost everyday, eating only wholemeal bread for breakfast & lunch. She gradually lost a considerable amount of weight. But she didn't stop there. She went on to lose a total of 20kg. Now, to most of us, she's considered slim but she's not satisfied. She wants to lose more & always wish to be like one of those HK female celebrities. :-S Whenever friends tried to put a positive note, she just shrugged if off. I wonder is it because she has been 'feeding' on too much negative comments that she could no longer accept positive ones. But one thing I realised is that she not only is self-critical but on others too. :-/ Sad. I was influenced by her negative vibes alot previously but thank God, I'm surrounded by more positive friends now. :)

I had my own fair share of story to tell also. I used to be cruelly teased by my neighbours too. Back then, there were many neighbours living on the same storey. The kids whom I constantly played with were the exact same ones who laughed @me. They called me 'flat nose'. It was so hurtful that I went home crying. I vented on my mum & blamed her for giving birth to me with such an ugly nose. For the longest time, I thought myself to be an ugly duckling. Even during my school days, I suffered an inferior complex. I find most of my friends were prettier than me & nobody especially of the opposite sex would want to give me a 2nd look. I was very conscious of my nose & the way I looked. It was not till recently that I fully begin to accept myself. All thanks to encouraging friends around me & my personal hairstylist, Auntie Baozhen (who always wanna create nice hairdos for me. :P) I find, Hey actually with enhancement like make-up & a suitable hairstyle, I can look beautiful too! :D Most of all, I'm thankful for my Faith also, gave me a different perspective of life & myself.

Self-acceptance - vital. That is what the counsellors of the talkshow shared also. That we shouldn't just pay attention to the outer appearance, but our inner beings, inner selves. We must have a healthy perspective, projecting a healthy image of ourselves. The talkshow ended with one of the counsellors saying that we always pay attention to lose weight on the outside. Perhaps its time we should 'lose weight' on the inside of us too. So true...well said! :)